So I have something to admit to you guys. I know that this particular issue has become huge in this day and age, especially with teenage girls my age. So here it is: I have cut and self-harmed. There, I said it. But the reason I'm saying this, is not because I want help (because I don't, it was awhile ago, I've been clean for awhile) but because of all the attention that cutting and being suicidal is getting on social networking sites (mainly Tumblr) and because I want you to take me seriously when I say these things, I'm not just guessing, and I'm also saying this because I'm betting that most of you who read this don't know me. Here we go: I cannot stress this enough to you: Not all people who cut and/or are suicidal are doing this for attention or because they are weak.
People automatically assume that anyone who has scars on their wrists or arms or legs or whatever do it because they want attention for it. Let me tell you this. If someone wanted attention for self harming, you would know. They would tell you or make it painfully obvious. My bet is if you think that the only reason people do this is for attention, then you are too damn stupid to notice the people who are hurting so bad from actually self harming because of a real problem. I have gone through the pain of finding out some of my close friends have cut or attempted to kill them selves. It's hard. And these are the people that I thought were some of the strongest people that I have ever known, and now I know they do have moments when they are brought down by something so much that they think they will never be good enough. But they are amazing people. That's what they don't realize. They didn't want me to find out, they hid it, I found out one of my friends cut because I went to grab her wrist and as soon as I grabbed it she winced in pain and wrenched her wrist out of my hand. She had been covering her cuts up with tissue taped to her skin underneath the thick bracelets that she had been wearing for years. I had no idea. And for all you bastards that think that she was doing it for attention, you need to get off my blog right now. I don't want you here. The people who cut and do it for an actual reason are so strong. Do you realize how strong you have to be to act like nothings wrong day in and day out and not give your fears to everyone else to weigh them down? It's almost unbearable.
Let me tell you what's going through your mind when you cut; what you feel. When I cut, it was always when things had been piling up on top of each other so much to the point were the weight of it comes crashing down on you and you just give up. The words of the things I had been called and the memories that hurt are echoing and replaying in my mind. I don't really know what starts it. Maybe it's an urge to punish myself, but most likely it's the urge to feel something, anything. If you can't feel love, or hate, or anything, it's best to feel something; pain. It's just making sure I'm still alive or something like that. I'm just so numb. And the scars are the reminders of hardship and pain and what had happened. They sting whenever something touches them. But you know that saddest part of my experience cutting? I could hide my scars in plain sight, and no one would even notice, except for people that had also cut at some point. Let me say that again: I didn't have to cover it, and no one even noticed. And even if they did notice I just had to make up some lame excuse that was so obviously BS and they wouldn't ask again. That's the saddest part. Our society doesn't even care anymore.
And as for people who think that people who are suicidal people are only doing it for attention, you need to think that through. Yes, there will be the people who are doing it only for attention, but think about it, even if they're faking it, you should care, and talk them out of it. Because if you assume that someone's doing it for attention, and you ignore them. By the time you find out if they were actually faking it or not, it will be to late. (If you're doubting me read the book Thirteen Reasons Why) And if you think that you are weak if you kill yourself, I guess you are, but you have to be strong to do it.
And just one example of a really controversial suicide is the Amanda Todd suicide. I don't even know if I should get into this one right now, because I will go on forever. But know this, imagine if you were in her position. If you got blackmailed, bullied, beaten, used, tricked etc etc. Imagine how tired you would be of our society. She was done. She couldn't live with us. Imagine that. It's not her fault it's our fault. If you haven't heard here story click here. She made one mistake one mistake. She showed her boobs to a stranger who then blackmailed her. That was what started this chain reaction which ended in her killing herself. So many other girls do this. And they all get away with it, and are forgiven, Amanda Todd just got the worst of it. She did this with someone who she had no idea would use it against her. She was bullied so much that she moved. ugh, I can't explain all of this right now, just watch the video. This particular scenario just makes me so mad at the human race and how evil we can be. If I was in her place, I probably would have done the exact same thing. I would be so sick of this society. If you think it was all her fault then you are no better then the people that directly told her to kill herself and bullied her and tricked her and beat her up. You're actually worse. You can't even show sympathy to her.
Sorry for the depressing post guys. I needed to get that out there and tell you my opinion.
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